I am feeling angry, annoyed, and fed up with myself. Honestly, I could cry. This week it's been my birthday weekend, which consisted of pizza, alcohol and chocolate gifts, and I am getting fatter. This isn't exactly a shock, that's what happens when you eat badly, but I feel pretty awful.
I had one free evening after work when I was hoping to get to the gym but I ran out of time. All this is to say I weighed myself for the first time in 2 weeks today, post Whitby, post birthday weekend. And I have put on 5 pounds.
That's right, 5 pounds, it's actually so bad it's almost impressive. Not quite as 'impressive' as this next statment though:
I am now 4 pounds over my start weight.
Yeah just take that in, it's making me very sad right now. I was nice enough to have 2 cakes made for me on my birthday and another one bought. The bought one is still sitting on the side uneaten, then there's all the chocolates and sweets I still have left to eat, as we speak my mum is makin me my favourite food, lasagne, as a late birthday celebration as they were away at the weekend.
So now what? This week is another difficult one as Friday-Sunday I am away in France with work which usually means eating out of service stations when possible and doing a lot of driving. I can try my best but most of this is out of my hands.
I am going to go to the gym in the next couple of days, before I go away. I ony had one day where I could have gone last week and I ran out of time.
I am feeling pretty low right now, I am hoping that after this week things will really pick up.
I am Kariss, and I am really struggling right now.